“There was always parts of birds in our ice cream/Such as a little bird’s eye,” the poem begins, before Trump takes it up a notch with, “Wait, here’s a little wing, help me/It’s crunchy, why is that?/Don’t wanna touch it/Oh, look, a beak/Everything’s here.”
Which doesn’t quite pack the same emotional oomph as Trump’s last hit, “Grab ‘Em by the P—y,” but whatever.
Not to be outdone at the mic, Clinton fires back hard with “Brown Bikini.”
Feeling the heat, Trump comes back with the whimsically titled but spiritually devastating “Mike the Merry Cricket.”
“Mike just loved to sing/And when he was little, the bees and the toucan would always stop by,” Trump intones. “Until one horrible day, there’s cricket meat in the gravy, yes there was/And what it was, was Mike the Merry Cricket.”
Which still isn’t as dire — or nonsensical — as many of the proclamations that Trump has actually made during the debates.
Slap on the beret, grab yourself a double espresso and dig into Trump and Clinton’s poetry slam in the video.