Newswire: Pornhub needs you to have sex in a panda costume

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Surprisingly giving for a site that’s all about self-gratification, Pornhub regularly launches charitable initiatives under its “Pornhub Cares” banner, which aims to deep-dick the world’s problems. For its latest philanthropic gesture, timed for March 16 and National Panda Day, it’s tackling the underpopulation of the giant panda, a species that continues to have a lot of trouble reproducing despite the obvious turn-on of zookeepers watching. There are many reasons for that, chief among them the fact that female pandas are only receptive to mating for two or three days per year (WIVES, RIGHT FELLAS—THIS GUY KNOWS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT), while male pandas tend to spend most of their day eating, sleeping, and channeling their sexual frustration into harassing female celebrities on Twitter. But one of the problems, apparently, is the serious dearth of hot panda porn. Which is where you can finally make a ...