Newswire: Sanrio’s newest character is a beer-swilling, heavy metal-loving red panda

READ ON: The A.V. Club

Finally recognizing that A) grown-ass adults are just as susceptible to the cheap plastic allure of Sanrio products as children are and B) Hello Kitty’s perpetual cheerfulness is kind of annoying, the Japanese producer of oddly irresistible kawaii crap has introduced a new character prone to fits of alcohol-induced rage. But in, like, a cute way.

Her name is Aggrestusko, and the company describes her as a red panda who’s “a single, 25-year-old female. Scorpio, blood type A.” She’s also an office assistant at a trading company who wakes up every morning and embarks on a hellish commute to her generic, soul-sucking high-rise office, where her dickhead boss tries to pass all kinds of extra work off on her and her annoying coworkers bother her while she’s trying to get shit done. So she copes in the same way untold scores of modern women do: By ...